The Tennis Ball Test™: How to Sniff Out a Useless MSP
Let’s face it. Most Managed Service Providers (MSPs) talk a big game. They say they’re proactive, responsive, and ready to protect your business from every cyber threat under the sun. But when it comes down to it? Many of them couldn’t catch a cold in winter.
That’s why we’re introducing a new gold standard for judging your IT support:
The Tennis Ball Test™
Inspired by our in-house security specialist (a ridiculously competent Golden Retriever), the Tennis Ball Test™ is a simple metaphor with serious bite. Because if your IT provider can’t handle a bouncing crisis with the same grace, enthusiasm, and reliability as a retriever handles a tennis ball… it might be time to throw them out.
And no, we’re not joking. Well, mostly.
✅ What a Pass Looks Like:
You throw the ball. It gets caught. Brought back. Delivered with a wag and a look that says, “Anything else you need, boss?”
In MSP terms, that means:
- Responds to incidents faster than you can shout "Fetch!"
- Brings back real answers, not excuses or blame games
- chases down vulnerabilities like they owe them money
- Knows the difference between a ping and a paw-shake
- Never drops the ball on patching, backups, monitoring, or compliance
This is what great support looks like. It’s fast, focused, and always ready for the next throw.
❌ What a Fail Looks Like:
You throw the ball. Nothing happens. Eventually someone wanders off, mutters about being short-staffed, and sends you a PDF full of jargon.
In MSP terms:
- Vanishes for days after you raise a ticket
- Suggests turning it off and on again like it’s 2003
- Doesn’t know what Cyber Essentials is, or why it matters
- Lets threats sit in your network like forgotten tennis balls under the sofa
- Says they’re proactive, but only react when you bark loud enough
If this sounds familiar, congratulations: your MSP just failed the Tennis Ball Test.
Why It Matters:
We’re clearly having fun here. But the message underneath is deadly serious.
Cyber security isn’t optional anymore. Not in 2025. Not when phishing, ransomware, and zero-days are hitting small businesses harder than ever.
At a bare minimum, every MSP worth their salt should be guiding clients through Cyber Essentials. It’s a start. A decent checklist. A baseline. But that’s all it is: the floor, not the ceiling.
**Cyber Essentials Plus (CE+), ideally with continuous compliance monitoring, should be the absolute minimum standard for any MSP claiming to take security seriously. It’s not just about passing a test once a year — it’s about proving you’re secure every single day. If they’re not putting themselves through the same external audit they’re recommending to you, and keeping that compliance live and visible, what exactly are they hiding behind the biscuit tin?
You need support that’s as sharp as it is responsive. A team that’s actually watching, thinking, and protecting you — not waiting until it all goes wrong.
So take the test.
Throw the ball.
See who brings back real value.
And if your current provider flunks it? Don’t worry. We know someone with excellent instincts and a very good tail.
Bonus:
Want to meet our Chief Pawtection Officer? He’s fluffy, four-legged, and frankly more on-the-ball than half the support desks we’ve dealt with.
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